Homemaking Revisited: A Vital Role for a Resilient Future

The more I think about it, the more I understand how closely permaculture and homemaking are connected. This week, I want to write from the heart, be a little bit vulnerable, and express my evolving thoughts about homemaking. Specifically, I want to present a defense of homemaking as a valid and valuable career choice.

I have a flood of thoughts tumbling around in my head, about life, work, earning a living, gender roles, parenting, the state of the planet, the state of the economy, our food choices, maintenance of the home, garden, and bodies, and so much more. 

Maybe writing a post about all of that (or just some of it, because that’s a lot) might help me to clarify my own thoughts. It might also be therapeutic to get these thoughts off my chest.

So here is my defense of homemaking, starting with a little background on my own perspective.

Cultural Biases – My Experience

I’ll start with some of my own cultural biases and expectations that I’ve felt since early adulthood and probably earlier. Maybe you’ll relate. Or maybe your perspective is completely different, and that’s okay.

Coming of age as a girl in a post-woman’s-suffrage society, the world around me said that I could have it all – a career, a family, the American dream. 

But that’s not exactly what I heard. I heard that to earn respect in my culture I had to have a career. Getting married and having kids was optional (as it should be). But doing those things was only an option if I also juggled a career.

I did feel passionate about starting a family and being a mom. But being “just” a homemaker (with kids or without) was never an option I felt good about.

“Pulling my own weight” was and is important to me.

I didn’t want to be a homemaker — not because I wouldn’t enjoy the lifestyle, but because I didn’t see the role as having value.

Homemaking wasn’t a job in my mind, but the lack of one.

The only women who I thought could justify not working were religious. I wasn’t religious, so it wasn’t an option for me, even if we could afford it financially.

Then it occurred to me that the reason religious families justify women staying home is that they value homemaking just as much as they value earning an income.

I said that in a very genderized way to make my point. But understand that anyone can be a homemaker, no matter their gender or marital status, whether they are a parent or not.

Nearly Everyone Is a Homemaker to Some Degree

The mindset that homemaking isn’t a valuable occupation made housekeeping difficult for me my entire life. Those domestic tasks were necessary, and somehow got done around the edges, but they were peripheral.

I didn’t take pride in keeping my living space clean and maintained because, well, society told me that housewives were lazy. So obviously it shouldn’t take much effort at all to maintain a home, even though my experience living told me otherwise. I couldn’t shake the perspective that work that doesn’t earn money isn’t valuable.

I was wrong. And now, well into my forties, I’m finally beginning to appreciate the true value of homemakers.

I’ve also realized that everybody who owns a home or rents an apartment is a homemaker to one degree or another. This is true whether they have another job or not.

My Changing Perspective on Homemaking

I want to make it clear that I never looked down on homemakers. If anything, I envied them. I envied not only the fact that they didn’t have to work outside the home, but I envied their welcoming homes.

One thing that helped change my view of homemaking was moving into our very own house.

As we settled into our home, it slowly dawned on me that keeping a house clean and picked up, and creating a comfortable sanctuary for my family to enjoy, isn’t as much of a struggle when you’re willing (and able) to spend time doing it. It does take time and effort to keep a home. But if you don’t see something as valuable, it’s hard to spend valuable time doing it. 

Let me say that another way. I realized that homemaking isn’t a waste of time. That homemaking is valuable.

The other thing that changed my mind was my study of permaculture. Listening to and reading about other people’s permaculture lifestyles has normalized and validated the non-monetary contributions that homemakers provide to both their families and communities. One channel I particularly enjoy is Parkrose Permaculture. The video she posted on homemaking was the impetus for me to write this post.

I’m still not great at being a homemaker, but I’m getting better. I’m even starting to get comfortable identifying as one.

I can take pride in doing this important work.

Shedding the Homemaker Stigma

The title “homemaker” still holds a stigma for me and in our society. When asked what I do, my answer always has something to do with permaculture design, writing, or my past career in architecture. I don’t utter the word “homemaker,” even though the umbrella of homemaking covers the majority of what I do in a day (parenting, cooking, gardening, cleaning, household management, etc.). The truth is, I’m still afraid of judgment. 

I want that sigma against homemaking to change because homemaking truly plays a vital role, providing valuable contributions to society. In fact, our communities would be stronger if more individuals were willing to take on the role with confidence.

Reasons to Value Homemaking

I’ll say it again. Homemaking is a valid and valuable pursuit. Here are four reasons why.

1. Exhaustion Relief for Both Partners

Many adults complain of exhaustion in our capitalist world. Women are especially prone to it with all of the pressures put on us by modern society. 

One common suggestion to overcome exhaustion is to ask for more help from our partners. But when our partners are working too, there’s only so much they can do to lighten the load without also becoming exhausted. 

When both partners work outside the home, the domestic work gets pushed to the periphery of life where it infringes on both partners’ ability to rest and recover.

But, when one partner is a homemaker and the other works outside of the home, or if both work part-time, both have more energy to do their respective work well (both paid and domestic) and take the needed time to rejuvenate each day.

The notion that if you’re not working to the point of exhaustion, you’re not working hard enough is toxic. Of course, there are seasons when extra hard work is necessary. But a break-neck schedule shouldn’t be the normal way of life.

2. Increased Household Resilience

Self-sufficiency has largely been lost in recent generations. This stems from the expansion of industrial agriculture and the separation of our food production from our daily lives. Likewise, we have an economic system that separates our lives from our livelihoods.

But in recent years, self-sufficiency is something many are trying to regain as we face a changing world with new uncertainties. The pandemic, climate change, and the resulting broken supply chains leave many of us feeling vulnerable and at the mercy of a system that we have no individual control over.

In this new social climate, traditional homemaking skills such as gardening, cooking from scratch, canning and preserving food, sewing, and mending, are coming back into popularity.

I don’t think they’re coming back as fashion statements, but due to the deep need, we all have to feel secure and able to care for ourselves, even if the system fails us.

3. Reduced Consumption

The giving of time and life energy to caring for one’s family means less money spent outsourcing things like childcare, cleaning, and food preparation. And it doesn’t stop there. When our needs are met in our homes, we have less compulsion to fill the voids with fast food, television, and other consumer activities. 

Overconsumption is taking a serious toll on the planet and its ability to support the world’s population in the future. It also (in my personal opinion) negatively impacts our health and happiness.

So finding ways to reduce consumption is vital to our continued existence in the future, as well as our health and happiness in the present.

4. Social Safety Nets and Community Resilience

Homemakers strengthen the community by making social connections. When you spend more time at home, and particularly in the garden, you’re more likely to get to know your neighbors.

Homemaking parents often have the flexibility to be more involved in school activities than their working counterparts. And homemakers typically have more freedom to participate in their communities than those who work nine-to-fives.

When we regularly interact with people in our hyperlocal community we form bonds, develop friendships, and weave social safety nets. This type of close-knit community builds resilience on the neighborhood scale.

Conclusion

I’m sure there are many more excellent reasons to value homemaking as a career. These are just the reasons I’ve been thinking about lately.

My hope is that I’ve given you some things to think about, and maybe challenged your view of homemaking.

You might also enjoy my upcoming post about improving work-life balance with a permaculture twist. After I post it later this month I’ll link it here.

Let me know in the comments the reasons you value homemaking. I’d love to hear different perspectives.

Have a wonderful day and happy homemaking!